the last bits of may 09

As this month comes to a close, I still can't believe I've been on break for almost a whole month now. One more month of chill time and it's work-time. I can't deny that even though it's exciting to be one year closer to being part of the actual "workforce," I'm pretty scared by the thought of it. I can't wait to go to Urbana 09 this year; I'm really hoping I'll have a better idea what I want to do during my undergrad years. This reminds me: I need to revise the classes I'm taking this fall. I need to get going with finding my major, calling - direction.

Summer has given me plenty of time to work on what I've been meaning to do, for example, my music. I have a long way to go for a polished 3rd album (including recording, designing the front cover, etc). But it's all for fun; I think I just give myself pressure so I'll finish something by a deadline since I was way too lax on myself this past semester. Hopefully I'll keep writing songs despite the circumstances I may find myself in.

I'm currently reading " A Spot of Bother" by Mark Haddon. It's pretty strange; the whole book revolves around a dysfunctional family in terms of their relationships with their spouses. I guess it's a little less dysfunctional compared to the family in "Running With Scissors." I can't believe they made that into a movie; I don't think I ever want to watch it on screen. Some things are better left on the page; haha by this I mean, controversial, more uncomfortable subjects.

it's nice to have calluses on my fingers again. : )

So...it's been awhile since I've touched my guitar and played random songs I've written in the past. I love being able to do that, esp. after a whole year. I will enjoy my single next year; no doubt about it. : )

2 and 1/4 songs down. I actually re-discovered two other songs I could also put in the album; I wrote them during my freshman year in high school hahaha. It's a good thing I wrote a lot of random songs back in my first year of songwriting; it makes up for my lack of new songs this past year. I was more creative back then; it's a lot harder now to think of melodies and fitting lyrics to the melodies.

I can't wait to finish writing, practicing, recording, burning, organizing the whole CD. Which reminds me, I should probably start designing the cover. I only have 22 days left. sounds like a lot but it actually isn't. it's hard being an unprofessional songwriter because you have to do everything by yourself; usually music artists have producers and agents that help them do almost everything. all they have to do is sing and play. haha yeah.but then again they have to deal with every single possible social pressure out there; paparazzi, lack of privacy, record label rates, appearance, originality. DANG. i would never want to put myself in their position. i'm just doing this because it's a gift from God and i want to use it for His purposes. it's very enjoyable and i think God gave it to me because He wanted me to find true joy through this. yeah.: )

super quick post.

been eating lots of good food. haven't been exercising as much as i should have so this means that i'm still...me.

i love the birthday presents i've been getting so far; it's not even my birthday yet.

it's 5 minutes to 11, which means bedtime. i can get used to this...at least that is what i keep telling myself.

alright time to go sleep because my sister just got out of the waterloo.

bye.

the new things i've been learning about my mom. oh so hilarious.: )

-wearing a spaghetti strap before dinnertime (during the time when the trash car comes) can get me out of dumping trash duties. sketchy garbagemen do not fare well with protective, conservative mother.

-my mom will use me as a bodyguard when our neighbor's Chihauhau comes running towards us during our post-dinner walks. She literally grabbed my arms and jumped behind me when she saw that little dog racing. The dog didn't freak me out - my mom's reaction did. Nonetheless, I got a good laugh out of the whole ordeal.

waking up at my college sleeping time: 3 am

I'm forcing myself to stay awake till 9:30 tonight because I don't want to wake up at 3 am tomorrow again. I might as well go work on writing some music tonight. Since the weather has been relatively cool for Taiwan summer standards, my sister is sleeping in her own room. This gives me more alone time.

During this period of "getting over jetlag," I will have to start applying for a job very soon. 3 months is just too long of a time to not be doing anything productive. I have yet to spend lots of time with my grandparents and relatives. I need to constantly remind myself my first goal for coming back this summer: minister to nonChristian family.

When I think about which day it is, it still surprises me that it's only May. I don't think I've ever gotten May off for summer. The biggest break I had was last summer when I had an extra half of June.: ) I guess I can get used to this. Sweet Michigan summers.

tokyo hotel. 10:31. i feel motion sickness.

this is going to be a short post because my sister will be done blow-drying her hair in no time. we are currently sharing the internet and the battery that i have left on my computer because WE'RE STUCK IN TOKYO FOR THE NIGHT.

alright it's not as bad as it sounds.i just really want to go home and this is holding us up from being at home. it's a good thing we don't have to be anywhere tomorrow but it is my dad's birthday. thank goodness we still get to eat dinner with him tomorrow.: )

i still feel like i'm on the plane right now. what was supposed to be an 11-hour+ flight to tokyo turned out to be 16 hours because of the delay in fixing mechanical problems (computer wouldn't function properly) and switching a pilot (the original pilot got sick.swine flu maybe? that was jerry's supposition). i'm quite dizzy at the moment - sleep time.

this is the latest i've stayed up since college.

I've been jet lagged for a couple days now so waking up at 6-8 am is no longer a rare event for me anymore. However, tonight I've been sitting in this bathroom for two hours trying to get a clearer picture of what God wants me to do with this short life of mine.

After writing down a few options for potential and "highly unlikely" majors, I picked up the road map of life (that's what i like to call the Bible because that's what it means to me) and opened it to Jeremiah's prayer:

"I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Correct me, Lord, but only with justice - not in your anger, lest you reduce me to nothing." -Jeremiah 10: 23-24-

I find my pride getting in the way of displaying Christlike behavior in front of those older than myself. It's strange how I attempt to appear strong-willed and intelligent when in truth, I am actually not confident and book-smart. It's amazing how clarity breaks in whenever I take the time to organize my thoughts on paper. Maybe blogging isn't a total waste of time afterall.

SUMMMMMMMMMMMMMER.yes.: )

i'm currently sitting on the floor leaning against the sink cupboards in Best Western. this is the same exact hotel i stayed at with my family when i came to ann arbor before orientation. it's pretty baller to end a year going to some of the same places you went to in the beginning. tomorrow is my sister's undergrad graduation ceremony. wow. 4 years has really passed by. i'll be turning 19 next month. wow.

East Quad.how i've learned to love this place for what it is. for the vegan+vegetarian food in replacement of meat (sometimes), zaragon place's 9 am construction activity, retail dining hall cooks yelling your name so loudly you literally flinch out of your chair, leaky washing machines that don't always drain your clothes properly, cohen reading room with the beautiful painting of a woman and a guitar and the huge chess pieces, jam sessions and prayer meetings in hayden 48 and 58 greene music rooms, praying in the madrigal lounge every night, BALLERLY close location to central campus classes but most of all, for the certain people i have come to love and become accountable to.