one last night of being a freshman

wow. in around 12 hours i will be D-O-N-E with freshman year.

i get the privilege of studying tonight while everyone else is enjoying their summer break. yes, this is definitely where i want to be.: )

haha this is me trying not to be bitter about taking an exam on the last day of the school year. i need to study and sleep. then i'm going to take the exam and enjoy myself LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST WEEK. haha. i'm not bitter, really.: )

tomorrow is going to be quite hectic because i need to pack up and move everything out by 3 o'clock. after that, i'll be free to breathe. yes. i cannot wait. i cannot wait. i cannot wait.why is time passing by so slowly?

my parents are in town. i think this may be one of the last times i'll be able to say that while i'm here in michigan. it still strikes me as weird how i ended up in the state of michigan and will be staying here for another 3 years (that is if everything goes ACCORDING TO PLAN. except that there is no solid plan except that i want to graduate on time). tuition fee is ridiculously high and the taiwanese dollar is currently shrinking but i can't see myself possibly graduating on time without a major picked out already. oh man....

alright.time to study for the last time in 4 months. wow.here goes.

what is going on.

currently caught in a web of worry and confusion.

i'm sitting outside of the benz because i need to be alone. i need this silence.

there's a man outside waiting for someone to let him in. i am skeptical and selfish.

nevermind, the man was here for a reason, it really is none of my business.

i shouldn't even be online right now, i'm done with all of my papers

it's been a long haul of essays, i'm glad it's the end of the semester

so i sit here with my almost empty odwalla, sitting next to my stats notes

all this talk about relationships and dating makes me want to choke

i am not ready.

but i want to be.

i can't help but be curious.

i want to know these things.

but at the same time i am terrified.

can i just run away this time?

what is this

an invasion of privacy

how come my conviction

is not as strong as it used to be?

what is happening to me

i have changed for the better

that's exactly what i want to believe

now i am confused with my single identity

because i want to see beyond me

i want affection, true feelings

this is exhausting. fine i'll leave it be.

all-nighter.makes one a fighter.

two papers down. 3 more to turn in on monday. 3 more exams. then i'll be done with my freshman year. : | it was certainly a fast ride but i had a BALLER time here in ann arbor.

13 degrees Celcius with a high of 18 today! i'm currently wearing a skirt and flip flops. who wouldn't? haha. i can't wait for the humid summer in taiwan. 4 months babyyyyy.

anthroculture films can be irritating when you're sleep-deprived. the music is very hard to appreciate.a little too much dissonance for me.

course-choosing took me 2 hours today. crazy. i'm thinking of trying for music comp and movement science anyway (even though it doesn't fit into my schedule right now). hopefully it'll work out. so far i have bio human nutrition, psych 270 intro to psychpathy (learn how criminals think), writing poetry (RC class. looks like i'll be in EQ still afterall: ) ), and musicology (intro to popular music). i decided to drop history of art for this semester because i wanted to take musicology more. haha i'm excited for my classes next semester.: ) at least i don't get last pick anymore. it just keeps getting better.

back to the UGLI.it's always so trying.

with no more Good News practices occupying five hours of my week, i am free...to study. i'm currently writing my final english paper (counts as a final exam). it's due in a week but since it has to be 8 pages long, i'm trying to finish it ASAP as editing will need time. on top of that, my anthrocul paper is due 3 days after that (12 pages!!!!!). yeah. this is going to be massive paper writing week.

exams will have to wait. ah lovely lovely. i'm finally taking my first blue book (women's studies). after that, i can finally step on the M in the Diag. haha. superstition.

i just needed a break from paper writing. ah. i really look forward to taking different courses next semester. it's going to be BALLER. i'm thinking of taking a music comp class in the bell tower, bio huma nutrition, art history (with the newly reopened art museum, it's going to be great), and either complit, women's studies health, or another psych class.

but for now, crunch time for school.

last month of school!

28 days left in my freshman year of college. OH EM GEEE. it's great. i love the end of the school year even though it's draining and a little straining but i love it anyway. it's been a good year. i'm glad that God brought me here even though i still don't have the slightest clue as to what major i will be graduating with. more importantly, i have to find my calling first. actually, i'm not sure how it's all going to play out (only God knows.Amen!) but i will keep trusting Him. He's the Mastermind.

to dad and mom: just a clarification. that was totally a prank. when it actually happens, i hope you guys will be joyful about it. i'm almost 19! like dad said, "it's going to happen sometime soon anyway." : ) i wait and pray for the day haha. MEANWHILE, i am diligently studying. and singing.