what is going on.

currently caught in a web of worry and confusion.

i'm sitting outside of the benz because i need to be alone. i need this silence.

there's a man outside waiting for someone to let him in. i am skeptical and selfish.

nevermind, the man was here for a reason, it really is none of my business.

i shouldn't even be online right now, i'm done with all of my papers

it's been a long haul of essays, i'm glad it's the end of the semester

so i sit here with my almost empty odwalla, sitting next to my stats notes

all this talk about relationships and dating makes me want to choke

i am not ready.

but i want to be.

i can't help but be curious.

i want to know these things.

but at the same time i am terrified.

can i just run away this time?

what is this

an invasion of privacy

how come my conviction

is not as strong as it used to be?

what is happening to me

i have changed for the better

that's exactly what i want to believe

now i am confused with my single identity

because i want to see beyond me

i want affection, true feelings

this is exhausting. fine i'll leave it be.