don't understand.but i want to.

i'm at peace...when i see two people strumming a banjo and a guitar outside at midnight.

i'm at peace...when i turn on my ipod and just go running outside on the sidewalk.

but i'm at complete peace...when my heart is beating furiously and i'm lying on the grass, staring up at the leaves wavering in the wind. the music is flowing through the earphones, burying deep into my soul.

yet when i come back into reality, i sink to the depths of worry.it's just not happening for me.so what do i do now?