life here.is hard.

i would cry now, but there would be no point in doing so. as of now, i am alone. tonight, i am done with my french homework for tomorrow's class. i could be ambitious and act like i have the faintest idea where i'm heading, but i just want to sit here and fall into music.

tonight, i headed down to the league to attend the mass meeting for this a capella group called "amazing blue." over the summer, i checked up on all twelve of the a capella groups listed on the umich website. i decided this was the one i wanted. i was so wrong. maybe it's because every single member standing in the front of the room was caucasian.maybe i was just being paranoid, overly nervous, too scared of rejection. maybe. but i'll never know now because i chose to walk out of the league instead of heading to the next room to sign up for an audition. i felt more relieved after that, even though i still wanted to cry. it's not because it wasn't what i expected. it's because i am so unsure, so unknowing of everything.

today has been pretty hectic for me. i got to class an hour early, only to find myself sitting in a classroom full of people i've never even met before. i got out of the class, took a few pictures of the nature around me, went back to my dorm room. i did some homework from the writing class i'm taking.unfortunately, i left EQ too late (five minutes before class) and got to class super sweaty and nervous. this is also because today, michigan was hosting the Festifall (basically Club Fair) and i had to wedge me way through a "people mountain, people sea" section. okay, it was my fault, i admit it. since i got in last, i had the worst seat. i spent the whole hour looking at the projector from the side. i asked the teacher if i got in the class or not(still on the waitlist.i'm first though). she tells me there's no guarantee, but that i have "a good chance of getting in." i have homework due tomorrow, so i decided to risk it and buy the super expensive books anyway.all the sake of education.

after physics of music, i attempt to sign up for some clubs at Festifall. thankfully, i see the TASA stand (Taiwan American Student Association). i actually ran into two of them.hopefully they're the same thing cuz i signed up for both of them.haha.well i mostly want to meet some chinese people and get the 15% discount for the restuarants on campus.: ) right after that, i rushed into Ulrich's bookstore, grabbed my French and Pysch textbooks, and lined up behind 15 people. by the time the counter person swiped my credit card, i had 3 minutes to get to my writing seminar (Nietzsche: philosopher and psychologist). i rushed back to EQ, dropped my books on my bed, grabbed my green doraemon bag with my seminar stuff, and went downstairs (thank goodness it's on the first floor near the lobby).

yeah. it was pretty tiring just rushing from one place to another.i'm going to go play guitar now.