goodbye to you : \

today, i said goodbye to both sets of grandparents for three months. and all of my relatives too, but i think i'll miss my grandparents more because i see them a lot more. i'll miss my aunt "goo goo" the most out of all my aunts and uncles because she's just so generous and fun to be with.she has an awesome fashion sense too so shopping with her is cool.: )

when i think about leaving, it still seems a bit far-off because it's something i've never had to do. i spent my 1st grade- 12th grade all in the same school. i don't know how to leave, to make a closure to things. i've moved ONCE in my life and i was too young to really feel the dramatic changes of it. now, i'm old enough, and even though i've been expecting and attemping to brace myself for it, I CAN'T SEEM TO FEEL IT YET. today, as my nai nai planted a super wet kiss on my cheek, i could have cried then.but i didn't. i waved goodbye and got on the car.just like that. i remember turning my head back to look at my ah mah before crossing the street. i wanted to capture my ah mah's smiling face to keep me warm in the winter months of michigan. but still, memory can only so so much. seeing people in person is still something irreplaceable. i'll miss taiwan. i'll miss my family in taiwan.but i have to leave taiwan.and all the goodness and the jay-walking, smelly sewers, 50 lan, wonderfully delicious food i just can't give up so fast. but i must learn to let go.

the thought just occurred to me today. many people have been asking me what i'm planning on majoring in. my answer is always: "i'm still thinking about it." because honestly, I DON'T KNOW YET. well as i got out of the shower and was wiping myself with a towel, i thought: "hey. i know what i'm interested in. i have the ideas, the creativity, and the passion.but i don't have the skills.but isn't that why i'm going to college for? or else what would be the point if i knew how to do everything already? AH HOW COME I FIGURED THIS OUT SO SLOWLY?!" so, now, i'm still not too sure which direction i should be heading in. should i stick with advertising?learn the computer skills in college. get my ideas in gear.and go for it? God, what is Your plan for me?